I thought I'd pass along a few goofy moments I've experienced recently in the hopes that…what? Why would I share these with anyone?
-Perhaps because Max laughed so hard when I told them to him, and I wanted you to have the chance to chuckle too.
-Perhaps because I want to know if others of you are having these same sort of experiences…you know, misery loves company.
Only, truth be told, I'm not miserable, I'm kind of laughing too. I'm 50-something (it's easier to say "something" than to get that number wrong, it keeps changing on me) and this kind of stuff seems to go with the territory. Like forgetting things or losing things…
If you know me personally, you know I am a maker of lists (Maker of Lists!!) and lately it seems like "find the ______" is on my list more days than not. Just fill in the blank. Recently I've lost phone numbers (for the piano teacher we've been seeing all year, and I know I wrote it in my address/phone book… but where?), my garden gloves (not in the garden, oh no, that would be too easy), a new book I ordered and received from Amazon, an ice cream bucket full of seeds, and of course the usual car keys/phone scenario is played out regularly. Sometimes when we are heading out the door, sweet Youngest pipes up,"Keys?" "Phone?" because he knows how often I get out of the van in search of either/both of those items. I'm not making this up, not any of it!
Speaking of phones, unlike many of our friends, we won't be getting rid of our landline anytime soon. How in the world would I find my cell phone?? Most of those friends are younger, and I say they are going to regret their decision eventually, when they are 50-something. Unless Smart Phones get a lot smarter and cheerfully answer "over here" when the owner shouts, "where are you?" or "where is my stupid (or other fitting adjective) phone!?"
The worst scenario of all is losing the list. Happens all the time, all the time. Grocery list (arrive at store coupons in hand, list is…gone,still at home on the counter) to-do list, stops-we-are-making-today list, shopping list lost in the box store, I'm guessing somebody got a good laugh over that find…
One thing I haven't really lost is my glasses because I wear them all the time unlike Hubby who is also 50 something and has reading glasses strategically placed in all possible locations – bedroom, kitchen, desk, office, cabin, truck…and is still routinely seen scrambling around
in search of glasses. I take some meager bit of comfort/consolation in seeing this.
But, while I have never truly lost or even misplaced my glasses, I have had some other unusual situations arise. It was time to wash my face and try to wake up after a(nother) short night. I closed my eyes and splashed my face with the warming water. And that's when I realized I was wearing my glasses. Sigh.
So, the next day, when schedules had been chaotic, and I was taking a shower at an unusual time, I remembered the previous face washing experience. Smugly, I reached up to remove my glasses before I turned my face into the water. What?? I was not wearing glasses?! Oops, I smiled to myself, realizing they were apparently perched on top of my head. Pat, pat. Nope. No glasses. No memory of taking them off, but I peeked out, and there they were, waiting, on the counter top.
Not all of my brain blips are related to losing things (unless it'd be my mind, but that doesn't really count.) Sometimes there just isn't a category unless it would be called a senior/blond/sleep deprived/middle-aged woman moment. Has kind of a ring to it, don't you think? To illustrate, one morning I was already running late, but a glance in the mirror revealed that applying under eye concealer wasn't the activity I should eliminate to beat the clock. I grabbed the magic tube, whisking it like an eraser over the blue-gray reminders of the late hours I'd been keeping thanks to writing projects and travel and thunderstorms and shoulder pain. A swipe here, a swipe there. I chuckled remembering a discussion on the pros and cons of makeup "back in the day" when such worldliness was verboten in my world. "If the house needs paint, paint it," quipped a radio preacher with whom my mother studied regularly. I knew my makeup use fell in that category today. Glance, recheck, double take. Well, the house was definitely painted…I had just decorated myself with my favorite chiffon pink lipstick.
Another day, I was rushing around to get out the door for an evening Bible study, putting the leftover food from supper into the fridge, grabbing my Bible and notebook, turning off eight lights, finding phone/keys, dashing out the door. Ahhh. I sat down in the van and discovered I was carrying a Ziploc bag containing 3 slices of homemade bread.
And yesterday. I was multitasking exponentially as I prepared for two days away from Hickory Lane…
-finishing up the daily chores
-cleaning three days worth of eggs to sell and share
-folding a load of clothes. (Who left those in the dryer over night??? Oh. Me.)
-picking up stuff all over the downstairs because someone was coming to run the vacuum while I was away (yippee!!)
-packing for Youngest to stay with friends for two days – school work, play clothes, baseball clothes/gear for practice
-packing my own stash of "stuff" for a personal retreat– Bible(s), journal, computer, special books, camera, writing resources, etc, etc.
-Oh, and clothes and toiletries for Max and I. (Max wisely volunteered to dash upstairs and select all of his clothes so I could just add them to our shared suitcase.)
Keeping Youngest Mystery focused and calm was the most challenging aspect of the morning (think ANTICIPATION and CHANGE of routine!) and I wasn't surprised that along the way I misplaced something on the way to somewhere else. I remember saying to myself, well, I know I can find that later. Unfortunately, when later arrived, I couldn't find it…because I couldn't remember what I was looking for. And when we arrived, I heard Max murmuring about not having any socks and ummmm...undies in the suitcase. What?! I missed those?
Please tell me you have days like this as well?!!?
Now if you will excuse me... While I was proofreading this, I picked up my travel mug for a nice long swig of coffee. More like a slosh… I forgot I had loosened the lid to my travel mug to add the Splenda. I need to change my shirt. If I packed another one.
-Hummin B. (I guess I'm humming because I forgot the words....)